Fuck you fuck you fuck you. Youre ruining everything and breaking my heart all over again. Don’t do this to me. I can’t lose you a second time.

You know when you miss someone, but they havent left. Theyre still around its just, not how it used to be. You miss how things used to be. Things will never be the same again, yet they havent changed one bit.

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Im going mad.
I have this killer headache, I lost my appetite (not really I am a fat whore and am always eating), I dont even want to smile anymore.
You are such a dick. You told me I have to stop being so negative. How the FUCK can I when you ruined my happiness and my hope. You told me you loved me, you held me, we laughed and loved, and I slept that night. For once I actually fell asleep. Im usually up all night regretting ever breaking up with you in the first place and thinking of how Im sorry and wish we could be happy. You gave me hope that we could be together again one day, bull shit aside.
Then you tell me a day later that it wont be happening again. You only made me feel like that just to see how it was to feel that way again.
So you crushed my hopes. by telling me that it would be our last kiss, that I am supposed to be with some other guy, that you had moved on.
So please tell me, how am I supposed to stop being negative when you killed the last happy hope in my life? How am I, when I know that you were just using my emotions as a part of your little game? How am I, when Im only scared now that every hope I will ever dream will soon be destroyed? How?
I know its stupid to cry over you, but its hard to believe you would do such a thing.